Wednesday, June 2, 2010

It's time.

I've been pregnant for what seems like forever. Every single day has been devoted to thinking about being pregnant, preparing for our little Aubrey, and wondering what life will be like when she arrives. Very little of my attention has been focused elsewhere. It's been all about her. It's all about this. All about the moment when it all becomes real. That moment has come.

Yesterday afternoon was my weekly OBGYN appointment. After getting a higher than normal blood pressure reading, the doc went to check my cervix. He felt the baby and poked around in there talking to himself and wearing a different look than usual. Then he said, "I think it's time to schedule an induction."

I may have freaked out a little bit. I asked him, "What? Right now?" LOL

When I was finally able to get dressed, he came back in and he had scheduled me for Thursday, June 3rd at 6am. Tomorrow. Tomorrow! Jerry and I could hardly believe it. Doc said it was mostly due to my spike in blood pressure, as that was a sign things were underway and no need to let it get any higher. He also mentioned that she's plenty big enough, and waiting would only allow her to get larger, thus making it more difficult for me to deliver naturally... which is what we want- natural.

So... tomorrow morning at 6am we will be going to the hospital to deliver our baby girl. 

It's surreal to know this. To know that in a few short hours I'll be hooked up to some hormones to make me start contracting. To know that by this very time tomorrow I'll be holding my baby girl that we've waited so very long to meet. Our baby.

The one that will make us parents, make us a threesome, make us a family.

I am overcome with emotion. I just didn't think it would hit me like this. I guess I thought it would all just  happen. Like it does on TV and the movies. It would be a a big crazy thing, rushing around, making a hundred phone calls, without a moment to stop and think about, and feel, what was happening. Instead, I'm sitting here alone- for the last time- in our house, thinking about the unbelievable blessing we are about to be bestowed with, and how radically our lives will be changing in the next 24 hours. 


There is a moment in which your life's dream is just about to come true... and I don't think that everyone gets to experience that feeling... but in that moment, if you're lucky enough to recognize it, your heart spills over. You have a small window of time in which you can bask in your good fortune, your hard work, and reflect on all the things that have made this dream possible.

There is nothing on this Earth that I have ever wanted more than to be a mother. I was made for it, and I feel infinitely blessed to have a partner who I love with more than just the heart in my chest, someone who is my best friend, my confidante, my rock, and my true other half to share it with. That in itself is a dream come true, but now... in a very short time... we'll have our dream. Our dream of a family together, and I couldn't be happier in this moment.

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